I think I misunderstood Tyra when she told me to look “FIERCE”…

Show me a Mom with perfectly coiffed and colored hair, groomed eyebrows, manicured nails, smooth legs, and no panty-lines, other than a Real Housewife of Wherever or Reese Witherspoon.  Go ahead, I dare you.  Find her and bring her to me.  So that I can prove that she’s a Stepford-Robot-Wife.  (Guilty pleasure folding laundry movie.)
This is one part of motherhood that I am seriously failing miserably at: keeping after myself in a way that wouldn’t make Tim Gunn say, “Oh, HONEY”. 
There’s a part of me that longs for my pre-husband and pre-baby days of spending upwards of $200 on a haircut, highlights and blow-out.  There were days of yore when I had a standing bi-weekly appointment with a favorite manicurist, followed by a trip to Hollywood for a warm, bronze glow.  There were times when I didn’t have to wear pants for weeks on end in 80 degree weather, because, well – if I am lucky enough to get a 10 minute shower – I am going to shampoo my hair, not bust out the Venus. 
I most definitely look back on those days longingly – missing the indulgent and carefree aspect of my past life.  But more often than not, my gut says – OH MY GOD.  YOU IDIOT.  DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DIAPERS THAT ONE HAIRCUT COULD BUY??!! 
These days, I’m faced with “budgeting for beauty”.  Sweet Lord I hate myself for just typing that phrase, but I’m not going to delete it.  Here’s where I’ve been experimenting: 
HAIR – I’ve been trying out various inexpensive hair “salons”.  There is a certain sister who will remain nameless that flat-out ridiculed me for going to the Hair Cuttery for an $18 cut last fall.  If she only knew that I also went to the local beauty school and let a 19-year-old vo-tech kid cut my hair ($12 – and it was actually an OK cut) she’d have me committed.  I color my own hair with stuff from a box (and only when I have my CVS Extra Bucks) after I’ve put the girls to bed.  Part of the problem is that I just don’t have time to devote to the stylist’s chair.  When I’m not at work, I’m with the girls.  When I’m not with the girls, I’m sleeping or I’m awake trying to get one or the other or both of the girls back to sleep.  That’s my version of lather, rinse, and repeat. 
NAILS – I wash too many dishes these days to waste the money on a manicure.  I’m in desperate need of a spring pedi, and I really don’t want to do it myself, but if I can’t manage to get to the random nail place next to the Acme before this weekend – it’s going to be a Sally Hansen pale pink special.  And probably smudged because I usually fall asleep in the middle of waiting for nails to dry. 
OTHER – I’ve been – well, you know I’ve been just flat-out skipping the eyebrow department.  I’ve given up on tanning – mostly by telling myself that I don’t want to get the cancer, but in reality it’s because I’m too darn cheap to give someone money to shine special light bulbs on my bare ass.   And I wear pants (FINE.  Possibly Mom Jeans.  Are you happy now?)  Shut up.

I can definitely see that I’m on the more extreme side of giving up any sort of glamour that I once enjoyed, but I know I’m not alone.  So you tell me – what have been your beauty sacrifices?  What do you absolutely refuse to NOT EVER IN A MILLION YEARS give up, no matter how many babies you have?  Any more budget-y cheap-o ideas for me?



Filed under Mom

5 responses to “I think I misunderstood Tyra when she told me to look “FIERCE”…

  1. jenniphur

    I too fall asleep before my nails dry and smudge them. I have full custody of my child and I’m lucky if a week goes by where I manage to do the dishes, keep the house clean, pluck my eyebrows, and paint my nails. Who has time for that? I usually fall asleep shortly after my son and don’t wake up until the alarm goes off. Right now, I haven’t done any of those things but dishes yesterday and a quick wipe down of the bathroom. Guess what. I also don’t care. I’d take the time I enjoy with my son and him reading me his books over a clean house any day. Any tips to save at the grocery store without buying crap food?

    • Merritt

      Hmm… I’ll have to work on a grocery post. Truth be told, I’m not a couponer or store-hopper, but I do set a budget and stick to a list, and try to buy fresh and local sooooo… I’ll see what I can find!

  2. kathryn talone

    It was the HAIR CUTTERY for heavens sake!
    I have willingly given up manicures. This is evident by my claw-like hands.
    I refuse to give up bikini waxes! 8 months pregnant and I was on that table the other night!

  3. Mary

    What I do is I tell the stylist, “Cut it short and make sure this is a haircut that can look good growing out because you won’t see me for 12 months.” And I go back in 16 months but not before donning an old Italian wash-woman bun for 1/2 that pitiful haircutless period.

  4. Pingback: Tuesday: not quite Monday, still too far from Friday | Your Awesome Big Sister

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