Category Archives: Toddler

No such thing as a stupid question.

Right?  That’s what your third grade teacher drilled into you, yes?  And I’m here to tell you, that in the mommy-world, it’s absolutely true.  I can’t tell you how many stupid questions about pregnancy, babies, toddlers, hormones, poop, teething, chicken nuggets, etc. I’ve asked in the last 3 years.  It’s been A LOT OF QUESTIONS.  Normally I do some digging first.  Sometimes I reach out in despair.  But my point is, you have to reach out.  Ask your question.  Please.  Because you are never alone.  And no matter if you’re asking your sister or your mom or your college roomie or that girl you knew in high school – someone’s been right where you are, and probably has the answer. Or a shoulder to vent on.

For example:

My big girl is potty training.  We’re a daycare family.  Which means if she has an “accident” (dude – she knows what she’s doing. please.) at 9am – those icky clothes will be sitting around allllll day in her cubby, then her backpack, then my laundry bin, until I get a chance to toss ’em into the wash that night.  The teachers wrap the dirty clothes in plastic bags, which is fine, but a little messy.  So I posed the following question to my personal facebook page for ideas of a better way to do this.  Because today, was not our best potty day today, and honest to betsy, that was one hot mess that I had to deal with.

Wet clothes are gross. How do I fix this?

Some suggestions were sending ziplocs to school for the wet clothes to come home in, search etsy, specific brands of wet bags and where to buy, offers to post for other friends…

So anyway – you can see that my friends 1) are awesome 2) don’t ridicule me for having a poopy kid and 3) know their shit.  {pun}  Which means I get a few of these to save the day.

Super cute, right?

Also, to my working momma friends – please add this to the list of stuff that you eventually will need for daycare.  A really great thing too, if you have a kid that’s prone to blow outs.   So there you go.  A little help from my friends, to yours.  Making this whole motherhood thing a little less WTF.



Filed under Baby, Mom, Toddler, Working Mom


Mommy Fail #42 billion and 12.

One day your child will bring home one of these from school.

Looks innocent enough.

And you will ask her, with interest (because seriously, what the hell?), to tell you all about it.  And she will exclaim, “You SHAKE IT Mommy, SHAKE IT UP!”

Turns out that it’s a simple enough craft project: a paper towel roll, covered in tape, decorated with marker, and filled with rice and dried beans.   Ya know, so you can SHAKE IT UP.  And it makes a noise.  And anyone under the age of 4 thinks that this is pretty damn amazing.   And you will think it’s amazing, too.  Because it keeps her busy while you’re making dinner, and changing the baby, and doing 8 million things.  And then this happens:

Seriously. You have got to be kidding me.

And it’s not so amazing anymore.   Sweetly, gently, “Mommy.  There’s a big mess.  I MADE A BIG MESS.”  I wish I had taken a picture of that.  Oops.  I could take a picture of the rice and lentils in the Dyson canister (because I’m too lazy to empty it) – but I’ll spare you.  I had to vacuum rice up immediately, because I have a crawler that eats everything.   And everyone got strapped into their highchairs and had a nutritious dinner of goldfish crackers and puffs while I continued to vacuum.   So it was basically a great night for the kids.

Moral of the story: when your kid brings one of these home, distract them, and then THROW IT AWAY.  For the love of God.

You’re welcome.


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Filed under Fun, Toddler

Cold turkey. Gobble.

When you bring home a newborn baby, you are so freaking overwhelmed and obsessed and in love and nervous and terrified and happy and emotional and more than a little psycho – that you can never imagine a day when the helpless little bundle squawking in your arms will ever “grow up”.  But they do.  They grow into 2-year olds. 

I know there are a thousand million books about parenting 2-year olds.  I haven’t read any of them.  Maybe I should.   In all of my spare time when I’m not parenting a 2-year old. 

So my Big Girl is 2.  And she is super smart, and willful, and happy, and energetic, and talkative, and defiant, and stubborn, and so.much.more.  She is also addicted to her nukkers*.  Which is code for pacifier.  Nukkers is so much cuter.  She LOVES – and I mean big.fat.puffy.hearts. LOVES. her nukkers.  Crack-head crazy love. 

And today I took it away from her.  I thought about weaning her from the nuk months (and maybe, quite possibly, a year.  I don’t know.) ago, but I chickened out.  And recently, I noticed that my very eloquent and talkative sweetie wasn’t “using her words”*.  And the words that she was using, didn’t sound quite right.  So this morning, when I pulled her from her crib, and she smelled like sleep and sweetness and princess-like – I BURST HER WORLD OF MARSHMALLOW DREAMS AND TOOK IT AWAY.  I told her that it had to stay in the crib all day long and she could have it again at night-night-time*.    And she sobbed.  She sobbed the whole time we were getting ready to go, and the whole car-ride to school, and then miraculously – she got over it and lasted the whole day!   No nukkers! 

But when she lay down to sleep, and discovered her dear nukker-friend – she was so.happy.  Bless her sweet heart.  I am the meanest mommy ever**.

(* – future blog post on mommy-phrases that i thought would never leave my mouth)

(** – future blog post on the meanest mommy EVER.  – it’s me, in case you’re wondering)


Filed under Toddler